The Consummate Teacher Gives One Final Lesson

I have too many friends in the veterinary industry to NOT share this link and PSA in the light of Dr. Sophia Yin's passing on Monday. 

The team at VetGirl had re-posted (for free) a recent webinar on suicide in the veterinarian industry after a few high profile recent suicides in the profession and I beg everyone who is in this industry to watch it.

When we go to the doctor we might be referred to a specialist, a surgeon, or other field of medicine. If you are a vet, the chances are you do it all. It's a high stress job where you are a dentist, a family physician, a nurse practitioner, a surgeon, a puppy doctor, and you help others navigate the toughest of decisions regarding pets. You also get peed on and vomited on, often. 
Dr Yin, in addition to this, was also a TRUE behaviorist. Consider this: If you need a behaviorist, things are usually not going so well. You don't see a behaviorist for "sit" and "give paw". You see a behaviorist when dogs are biting people, or are shut down from fear (and other tough emotional issues). 

Actual, certified Behaviorists, like Dr. Yin, are board certified through the Diplomates of American Veterinary Behaviorists. There are many "behaviorists" who are not actually behaviorists, but they use that title which is reserved for PhD's in the field of veterinarian behavior sciences, which is unfortunate. Dr. Yin was, in my estimation, the best of the best, and my favorite go-to website to help my students here in Boston. She touched the lives of thousands of dogs that she didn't even know by helping people like little old me with free resources for tough cases. She has helped thousands of dogs through every veterinary technician or veterinarian who has implemented her low-stress handling techniques

She did it all. And now she's gone.

We screamed it from mountain tops when Robin Williams died. We shouldn't stop screaming. There are people who need help, or need to know that help is out there. I'm familiar with Samaritans in MA (http://samaritanshope.org/) but there is also the national hot-line http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Do your part, and if you see signs of depression, or feel that someone is at the end of their rope, make sure they have the resources to be successful in the same way she made sure that dog owners had the resources they needed to be successful. Even with her tragic death, I'd like to think she can still serve as the consummate teacher and help at least one person recognize that they are worth it, that they have resources, and that people really care (even if they don't say it often enough.)



Thank You For All You Have Done. We'll Do Our Best To Take It From Here.

I posted this today on the NEDTC Facebook page. 

It's with a heavy heart that we report the great Dr. Sophia Yin has passed away, "suddenly and unexpectedly". 

I use her website and posters more than any other resource for students with dogs who have a bite history, or kids who need help with the family dog. I use her videos almost exclusively when dealing with leash reactive dogs, including my own.

I remember having the quickest of chats with her at IAABC when I was pregnant with Aislyn, and then I watched her speak. She engaged the entire room with hands-on examples, and made us all partner-up. She got an entire room of mostly strangers, 300 people, to work together and solve problems.

She "got" people and dogs in a way more people need to understand both species. I was looking forward to her coming to talk to the NEDTC community, our local vets, our local trainers and our local students next year, and though that takes a backseat to everything else, it's still so sad that she isn't here, and won't be coming specifically here to help this group of people in the way that she's been helping communities all over the world. It's so sad that she won't be helping people and their dogs anymore, not just selfishly in Cambridge, but everywhere. She was great at her job, she loved her job, she loved dogs, she loved people, and she has left a huge hole in the heart of the dog-community.

I'm so shocked ----- I can't believe it or imagine what her family, colleagues, patients, and friends are dealing with right now. She was a light for dog trainers and veterinarians as well as the positive reinforcement movement - and I can only imagine what she was like in real-life, and the hole she's leaving those individuals with.

What we can do is carry that torch on. Treat all animals and people with honesty and compassion. Use her posters to illustrate good interactions and bad interactions to educate handlers what each looks like from the dogs perspective. We can make an effort to learn low-stress handling techniques (something she was famous for in her veterinary clinic). We can advocate for good relationships between all people and their pets, and lead by her example that we don't need harsh devices to accomplish trust.

I don't want to say Rest In Peace, because that seems so final. I think instead, I'll say "Thank you for all you have done. We'll do our best take it from here."



Saying Goodbye To My Friend, Sadie-Jane

I'm almost done writing a book about the ethical considerations of dog ownership, especially considerations for urban dogs. The last chapter is called "Saying Goodbye" and it covers some questions that people need to ask themselves if saying goodbye is the right answer for their particular dog. Sadie was put down last Wednesday. I can't not be honest about what happened, and I felt it might be a good addition to the Saying Goodbye chapter since I'm sure other people have had to face these questions, too. I've since added it and resent to editor Ken. This wasn't exactly the preview chapter I was hoping to send via blog, but here it is. A eulogy to my faithful co-pilot, Editor-In-Chief, and buddy.
Sadie-Jane Dogg, CGC (Approximately 12/28/2003 - 8/27/2014)

In the process of sending this book to the editor, my beloved companion and faithful friend of nearly 12 years was put to sleep on the same weekend, one year later, as our greyhound. One year, two dogs, the same holiday weekend seems a bit unfair, but that’s how it goes sometimes. The house is remarkably quiet, even with a toddler running through it because our dogs are no longer a part of the household. 

The cats, however, seem much happier.

For Zeppy, the decision was clear. He had bone cancer and he was in pain. For Sadie, the right thing was much less clear for so long, which made the decision much more difficult in some ways, and much easier in others.
When dogs age, functions start to decline. Cognitively our dogs may be different than when they were younger. As Sadie aged, she became like the quintessential crotchety old lady on the front steps. If she had a shotgun (and thumbs), she would yell at everyone to get off of her lawn. When she was working at New England Dog Training Club with our intern Carl, or walking with the family, she was happy. When she was playing disc, she was happy but clearly very, very sore. When she couldn't do those things over the summer due to heat and her old-lady body, she declined behaviorally, cognitively, and physically.
There comes a point when the behavior modification medication might not work anymore and it’s kinder to say goodbye. Yes, we could have upped her medication, but to what degree of her happiness? She was miserable not being able to work and run for more than 3 minutes before coming up lame or just exhaustion. That’s a terrible reason to put down a friend. When her cognition started to fade and she sometimes didn't know what a ball was, or barked in the corner at night for no discernible reason, they were just goofy quirks for an older dog who still had a lot of life left. 
When she got up suddenly to play with my daughter, knocked her down and bit her, the decision was made for us. I'd like to think it was a combination of a cognitive slip and acute pain from getting up too quickly, and thinking Aislyn caused sharp pain to her joints - but we don't know for sure. It was then that we knew it was time to say goodbye before anyone got more seriously hurt. It was then that we knew Sadie had enough, and maybe she was trying to tell us she was done all along.
We could have kept her managed in the kitchen as long as the baby was awake, but to relegate Sadie, the most human social dog I’ve ever known, to the kitchen would have been torture for her, and for me. We could have upped her medication so she’d sleep and cope, but after 12 years, she deserved more than that. Like Zeppelin, we could have kept her alive, but it wouldn't be fair to our dog, and since our toddler was at risk of further injury....it was a no brainer for me, though regrettable that the incident even happened.
I had a couple people ask if I could have re-homed her. If she were a 3 year old dog and loved everything about life, and could go to a great home in the country to play ball all day, then yes. When the dog in question is almost at the end of her statistical natural life, who is clearly a dog who is bonded to one family, is on expensive behavior modification medication, has tumors on her back, blown out knees, vision problems, and arthritis in joints I didn't even know dogs had; when that dog is dog aggressive, is cognitively failing, and is starting to aggress in ways that are atypical for the particular dog, then I would say the answer is clearly no. Some people might still say yes, re-home her. I couldn't do that to her, I couldn't put that cost and management burden on another family, and if I’m being 100% honest, I couldn't cope with her living out her days with someone else.  
I have met with families and have had to say “you should send this dog back to the shelter because he’s aggressive to kids. This wouldn't be an issue, except that you have kids in and out of this house all day long. This is a mismatch, let’s give you and your family a better shot of having a true companion while giving this dog a shot of finding a home better suited for him.” These tend to be younger dogs who still have a shot at a good life, but will not likely cut it in the city, or with a particular family. In 10 years, I have had to tell 3 people “I think the humane thing to do is euthanize your dog” for various reasons, but it's something that I take very seriously. 
It’s not easy, but if I had a student in my situation, passing the buck to have someone else put Sadie to sleep in the near-future would not have been fair to the other family, and I would have been worried sick that she was not being treated with dignity, compassion, and fairness in her aging years. The buck with Sadie stopped with me, her owner, her partner, her love. I owed her that much.
Had we lived in the country with a field and didn't have a kid, then she may have made it another 2 years or more. If Aislyn came along 2-3 years earlier,  Sadie might have felt better and they may have been buddies for the rest of Sadie’s life. Was her life full with us in the city? I can’t ask her, but I would like to think so. It  was harder in many ways to live in the city with a Border collie, with this particular Border collie but I had to think outside of the box, which made things more interesting for both of us and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
The dogs we get when we’re younger change and evolve, just like we do. I’m not the same person I was at 22 when I got her out of a shelter (which I’m sure my husband is thankful for), and she wasn't the same dog I picked out of the Franklin County Animal Shelter, though we were fundamentally similar to those two creatures who met on opposing sides of a metal cage. She sat in a crawlspace of my Chevy S10, just 4 months into our relationship, when we moved from Ohio to Maine, and shortly after, from Maine to Boston. She was always in the passengers seat of my little S10, and when I got a more appropriate vehicle, one that didn't beg people to ask me to help them move every weekend, she moved to the back seat where things were safer for her. But, she was always there. My copilot. My buddy.
Our journey was long, spirited, enjoyable, and I am ever thankful for all that came out of my life with her. She didn't get me hired by a dog trainer on-the-spot in 2004, but she did need an activity, which got me involved in canine disc, where that dog trainer happened to see me working with future disc dogs. He liked the cut of my jib, so I was hired as a dog trainer, even though I really didn't have any qualifications.  I worked hard to earn my certification and to work in this industry that I love so much. Sadie didn't make my relationship with Brian, but she was cute and smart enough to get his attention. I had to do the rest. I didn't get into dog training to get into behavior work, but the deck of cards fell that way when I found myself in the same shoes that many of my now students find themselves, which means that I know what they are feeling, and the ethics of keeping dogs who need an around the clock management plan.


Rest in Peace, my dear friend Sadie. I knew I’d have to write this someday, but that didn’t mean that I ever wanted to. I’m so, so, so sorry for so many things (the prong collars, the busy city life that you couldn’t quite adjust to, and not listening because I’m a dumb human who didn’t get dog body language despite being around dogs my whole life). Part of me wishes that I stayed in the country with you instead of moving to Boston, but I don’t think either of us would have been at our happiest, and look at what we both would have missed out on. City life was a struggle for us both. We managed, but I still wish I could have done more for you, pup. I wish I knew more at the beginning, and wish that I could have given you a yard to hang out in at the end.
The day before you passed away, I thought to myself on what turned out to be our final walk "We've finally done it. Loose leash, past other dogs, baby behind us with daddy - we're finally there. We got this far, we got this." I'm glad we had that.
A few people said: “You were such a great team”. I couldn't have said it better. You were joy in motion, and I thank you for spending your time with me and choosing me as your person. I promise to take everything I learned with you, write a book (here it is!) and really listen to what all of our future dogs tell us. I promise to be honest with my students about what their dogs need, and to do so compassionately, ethically, and honestly. 
I promise to never forget you. You were my longest relationship so far, and I thank you for every, single minute of that time.
For the record, Sadie, more people had said they missed you, they loved you, or they were sorry of your passing then the birth of Aislyn or my wedding. You really, really, truly were one of a fucking kind, and I knew it.


The last photo my husband took of Sadie, 2 weeks before she died. It was taken on film, not digitally. Before her death, it became my favorite photo of her. The way the light hit her, made her glow ethereally. She looked happier and younger than she did in any point in her last year with us.

It now has much more meaning.

RIP Sadie-Jane Dogg


Dear Rescue Groups and Shelters:

Dear Rescue Groups and Shelters who don't behavior assess, and truck dogs in from The South:
I know you mean well. I really, really know you mean well. These dogs would be likely euthanized if not sent north. I get it. However, every time you send a semi-feral dog ill-suited to the city and that dog ends up in Boston, Cambridge, NY, Portland, Somerville, and other congested areas, a fairy looses it's wings.
Every time you send a dog who should not be around children to a family with kids, someone gets hurt: either the family gets heartbroken when they have to re-home it or put it on drugs just so it can get through the day, or a kid gets bit.
Behavior assessment isn't the end all, but something needs to happen. You can start by not trucking sick and behaviorally unsound dogs into the state and giving them to well intending people who just want a family pet. Bring us your dogs that can survive in the city- legitimately survive in the city. I know they exist. I've met them. But the dogs who can't make it in the city should maybe NOT GO TO THE CITY, and you need to be honest about that.
I have to serve by a code of ethics as part of my certification, and many rescue groups do as well. Then, there are the ones who just need to get dogs out, and put them wherever. When it doesn't work out, those groups are unable to help an emotionally invested family, and that's totally, completely, absolutely unethical. A dog isn't saved because it's not in the shelter - a dog is saved when it can thrive and cope. Some of the "placements" and "matching" that is done is absolutely not in the interest of saving the dog. They are holding on by a thread, and these owners are trying their best. Sometimes that isn't good enough, and in many cases, that's back on you.
Every dog trainer and behavior specialist who has to tell a family with kids two weeks after getting the dog that it is not suited to be in the city, can't be around kids, needs meds, and a lot more work than was ever expected, or that their beloved pet needs to be rehomed because it can't cut it in the city even with all the training and management in the world.
PS - Let's work together and figure this out.
PPS: There are GREAT rescues who can totally ignore this.

Melissa McCue-McGrath, CPDT-KA


Pet Palooza,Assembly Square August 2-3

Hey everyone! SomDog is throwing the biggest family friendly / pet friendly party in town just in time for the apex of summer!

 On August 2-3rd, we'll have PET Palooza, featuring the Dock Dogs competing over two days at Assembly Square, right on the Mystic River! They have a 25,000 gallon pool. Bring a bathing suit as they do have a "splash zone" where you will get soaked if you are anywhere in that range. There will also be seating this year because the pool is in the new Amphitheater on the Mystic River, so don't worry about getting wet if you don't want to!

 Additionally, there will be Agility demonstrations all day on Saturday, August 2nd (run by two of the best friends of MuttStuff, Leah Tremble and Donna Culbert).

I'll be helping out on Sunday, August 3rd with Robin Moxley and Beantown Disc Dogs run the first leg of the Cricket Classic - a USDDN format toss and fetch competition where anyone can register (find Beantown Disc Dogs on Facebook for the registration!). It's a free event and we encourage anyone who wants to try to come out and play! We'll also run Freestyle demonstrations after each round so you can watch these dogs really fly, jump and catch discs as part of a routine set to music!

There will be vendors, opportunity auctions, and of course (the best for last!). If you bring a new leash or collar to be donated to the Somerville Animal Control (for pets to wear as they are adopted out of the kennels), than you can get a ticket towards an opportunity drawing worth $200.00+ (free homemade leash, a free class at Cooperative Dog, a discount on a pet portrait, 2 competition style canine discs, tennis balls, and 2 bags of beer biscuits -treats made out of beer grains from home-brew! There are no hops in this treat, so it's safe for Fido, and delicious! These are always a huge hit). You get to help dogs and cats in need, and we get to give you beer....for your dog.

Come out, have fun, and if you see me in my "Toss, Fetch, Repeat" shirt, come say hi! I'll be running Ollie, a Boston Terrier in the Disc demonstrations on Sunday, but will be around with the family on Saturday. I'd love to see you!

Happy Summer!



Today, the Cummings School of Veterinary Sciences at Tufts University put out a lovely Public Service Announcement. It came on the heels of a widely circulated story about how one woman's dog nearly died from eating ice....something about spasming stomach causing bloat.

It's totally, completely, and thankfully, false.

I had this discussion with my students tonight in classes. The claim that ice water is dangerous to dogs is simply not true. The ASPCA and other shelters use ice as a mentally stimulative tool for keeping dogs sane in kennels. Huskies eat ice to stay hydrated during running events (including the Iditrarod). Snopes has confirmed this is false, though I'd rather people talk to their veterinarian 

That being said, it's incredibly sad that the woman in the story going "viral" had a horrible event, but one anecdotal circumstance does not an epidemic make. This also went around last year, and the year before.
Give your dog ice. The worst that could happen is brain freeze, unless they are suffering from heat exhaustion or heat stroke. Then call your vet because in those cases, ice, or any drastic temperature change, can be a shock to the system.
The Internet is great for so many things, but check your sources. I'm saying this as a blogger: blogs aren't always correct. Go to a reputable source.


Some Events Summer 2014!

Are you looking for some fun events this summer, or great hiking opportunities for you and Fido?


Hiking! (Thanks, Running The Pack!)

More hiking (my favorite....bring Deet.)

Even MORE hiking!

Happy Summer!



The below link is a tough, but I argue a necessary, read. 
Here is the link that has sparked a firestorm, but I totally, 1,000 % agree with it. 

A dog isn't saved if it's still stressed to the point of attacking people unprovoked (like Rocco), and bites hard enough to kill any dog.

Shelters, rescue groups, and people need to start focusing on the dogs that should be in a home, who are behaviorally sound, instead of sending loose cannons into people's homes, even if it's an unpopular stance. Additionally, people need to be held accountable for their dogs actions. If their dog bites, it's likely because one of the following has happened: 

 1. The dog has been asking for space and never got it.  (Owner didn't know what to look for). The dog snapped. If it's before a level 3 bite, a training plan might help, or not, depending on the severity of the anxiety and the prognosis of that dog.
 2. The owner hasn't trained the dog. (Dog barks, lunges, growls, but never bit before, so "it's not an issue").  If it's before a level 3 bite, a training plan might help, or not, depending on the severity of the anxiety and the prognosis of that dog.
 3. The owner noticed that something was amiss but used punishment to suppress anxiety (which science proves doesn't work, and often backfires over time).  Alternatively, insufficient steps were taken to manage a dog who is having a hard time. If it's before a level 3 bite, a training plan might help, or not, depending on the severity of the anxiety and the prognosis of that dog.
 4. A rescue, shelter, breeder, or Craigslister knowingly passed an unstable, feral, or behaviorally unsound dog to someone else (passed the buck so someone else could deal with the problem).  If it's before a level 3 bite, a training plan might help, or not, depending on the severity of the anxiety and the prognosis of that dog.
 5. The dog has a medical condition (blindness, deafness, lyme, arthritis, pre-seizure activity, or any number of conditions) that can't possibly be trained out. Some medical conditions can cause aggression, and some are contributing factors.
 6. The dog was defending itself from abuse, teasing, or a perceived threat.
 7. The dog is "wired wrong", is feral, unstable, overstressed, unable to cope, aggressive, undersocializaed, or homed in an environment/family where it will not thrive. We don't have to wait for a bite to determine if these dogs will likely harm a human or dog: that's what behavioral testing is for. This is the one that we are seeing much more of as trainers, and it's disheartening. 

 No matter what the reason, we have an epidemic of dogs going into homes in which they are not suited. There are thousands of dogs the need rescue and do very well with families, who become man's best friend, and love life to the fullest. There are dogs who do really well with a behavior plan and do well with management, and advocacy. Then, there are the dogs who need to be put humanely to sleep because the stress of living every day is hell, a hell that we owe them to get out of with dignity and prevent them from causing irreparable harm to a child, another dog, or any adult victim. 

 It's awesome that people want to save dogs, but what isn't helping is the idea that it's our duty to save every one of these dogs in shitty situations. We can't. We shouldn't. There are dogs who deserve a home, who genuinely love people, or can acclimate comfortably with a very strict routine in an environment that is suited to them. Some dogs, like Sadie, need to be medicated and trained every day to be successful, but she is generally a happy dog, even if certain things stress her out.  But it's not our duty to save dogs who are killing kids, dogs, and live their entire life as a ball of stress and anxiety. If Sadie were no longer happy, was stressed out, behaviorally unsound, or I was unable to keep her, my family, my kid, other dogs, and my community safe from her, than it's on me as her owner (damned public opinion) to humanely end her life so she doesn't harm another. She doesn't even need to physically harm to the point where the long arm of justice would crack down - if I, as her owner, see that she is too stressed to function, even without a bite, then it's on me to be accountable. 

To the people who are crying out for the dog who was run off by a cat to "please let me adopt him, I can help him!", go to a shelter and help a dog that is behaviorally tested. Put your effort into ending breed bans so dogs like Lennox don't get euthanized for being a Pitbull. Put your effort in a healthy place, not to rescue a dog who prey-stalked a kid, shook it to create substantial harm, and has had a reputation for biting people in the past. I know you want to help, so help in a meaningful way. Help the shelters in your area get behavior testing so dogs like the one above can get the help it needs BEFORE it attacks a kid completely unprovoked. Go into schools and talk to kids about the DoggoneSafe program. Volunteer at your local shelter and teach these dogs to "sit", "down" and "stay". Work on preventing dogs from getting adopted on roadsides out of state lines, or work with your shelter to make sure when dogs are homed, they have support if things aren't going well. If you want to help, help in these ways. I encourage you to do these things. We need this. 

Education is the part that is missing in many of these dog-bite cases. I recently worked on a case where the owners really just didn't know about barrier aggression, and inadvertently made things worse. The dog is now doing well with a training plan. Some do, some don't, but we need to behavior test and be honest with potential adopters about the dogs they are getting, and to humanely euthanize those that clearly won't be successful. To truly save dogs, we need to know where to focus efforts. Education, behavior evaluations, and accountability from owners/rescue groups/shelters/breeders is really where it's at. I have low regard for those shelters who are consistently passing the buck to owners so they can keep their "no kill" status, but to what end? That's really the terrible part in all of this. 


Shop, Take 2!

Hi everyone!

 I found a different platform that I think I like better for dog sports and dog training apparel through Spreadshirt.

My Shop can be found here

If there is something you'd like to see, let me know and I'll whip it up!

Currently, the following sports are featured, but I can certainly add more:

 - Disc 
 - Agility
 - Nosework (tm) / Tracking/ Find It Games
 - Rally Obedience

Let me know what you think or if you'd like a different sport highlighted!

 Get outside and play with your dog. In Somerville, we have the Pet Palooza in Assembly Square on August 2-3, and the Somerville Dog Festival on September 14th!

 It'll be a good time to wear your sport dog swag, or put your dog in a bandanna requesting space (for training, or space sensitive dogs) or requesting a sit (for puppies learning to sit, or exuberant jumpers!)

Happy Summer!



Gallows Humor

I have been working on a project which has brought up the passing of several dogs who have been near and dear to me. Though the topic of dogs passing away is gut-wrenching for anyone who has had to say goodbye to a canine companion, I remembered perhaps the funniest story I have (I pull it out at parties when the reading of the room is just right), which happened to involve the death of the last dog sledding dog I have ever loved. It defines "gallows humor" in a way that nothing else in my personal experience really quite can.

I was living with my dear friends, the Bogdanoves. Their son had moved to school in Boston, and they were new empty-nesters. I needed a nest after a series of events in Ohio left me rather stuck. I had just adopted Sadie, my Border collie puppy, which I thought would be a problem, but they welcomed me, and my little dog, too, with open arms. It was the perfect way to get a new start after college.

My brother got me a job at MBNA, where I was "that guy" that you have to talk to once you get through hours of "push one for English." "For credit cards, press 44, and then sit here and listen to this awful music for the next thirty minutes because all of our representatives are currently busy". I was that representative. It's ok, I hated it as much as you hated calling me. Maybe worse. 

My hours were 1pm to midnight, which in hindsight, was the worst. I'd get home at 1am and everyone in the house would be asleep. I'd be awake for 2 hours in a desperate attempt to wind down, fall asleep around 3am, get up at 10 for breakfast, and go into work at noon. It paid the bills and got me on my feet again, but god it was soul sucking. 

One morning at 6am, my father called the Bogdanoves. I heard his voice on the answering machine (those still existed!) so I jumped out of bed with only a couple hours of sleep from the night before. He said "Cinnamon had a heart attack or a stroke. She's dying. I need your help. Get here quickly." I hopped in  my tried and true S10 and drove to my dads house which was 30 minutes away (I made the trip in 15, inadvisably driving WAY over the speed limit). 

Cin was my puppy from childhood, and also the last of our huskies. She was 13 when this event occurred. When I got there, I left the truck running, hopped out of the car, crawled into her dog house without even saying hi to Dad, and that's when she licked me, and died. It was totally out of a movie or a book, and I'll never forget that moment.

Dad, seeing my truck in the driveway, came out, and I told him she was gone. "Alright, I'll drive up to the neighbors to grab a couple of shovels". It's Maine, so the nearest neighbor owned a farm and literally was driving distance away, so this in and of itself isn't odd, but does start the "gallows humor" part of the story. 

Dad started to go up his driveway, and ended up parking on the lawn. "Dammit, my brakes are gone. Alright, here's what we're going to do. I have to get to JJ's auto body in Damariscotta. You're going to use your truck to stop me if anything goes wrong."

Parenting, that's how you do it. You volunteer your oldest daughter to drive 7 mph in front of you in the break down lane, to go two towns in order to get the brakes fixed in a Buick, and tell her to run interference in the event the vehicle fails to stop. Luckily, there were only two turns, and one flashing yellow light, so we were probably going to be just fine. 

We hopped onto Rt. 1, drove to get his car fixed, luckily without incident, especially considering JJ's had a downhill driveway, and he hitched a ride back with me. We stopped at the neighbors to get some shovels, stopped at Dunkin' Donuts, because we have needs, and then we dug a hole for our deceased pet. 

We wrapped up around 11:30 am and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was beyond exhausted and unable to go to my shift where I would sit at a desk for 11 hours. I called and left a voicemail for my manager from my cell phone. 

 "Hi Chris. I'm exhausted. My dog died this morning, and my dad's brakes failed. There was luckily no accident, but I did spend the morning burying the dog with him in the back yard. I'm spent. I'm not coming in today. I'm really tired and very upset. I hope you're not mad that I did this last minute. See you tomorrow."

 A few hours later, my brother, who I shared a shift with, showed up at my fathers house. He looked devastated. I asked him what on earth was wrong. He said "Where's dad?" When dad came to see who was at the door, my brother went sheet white, like he had seen a ghost, and exclaimed "Dad? You're alive!"

After he composed himself , my brother explained that he spent the better part of the afternoon calling area hospitals asking for our father. Evidently, the voicemail I left my manager raised a few eyebrows when the cell phone cut out in a few *key* points in the message.
What my brother heard was: 
"Hi Chris. I'm exhausted. My..daw ...died....dad's brakes failed....accident...I spent the morning burying..him in the back yard. I'm spent. I'm really tired and very upset. See you tomorrow."
We all had a laugh. I could only imagine my boss, his boss, and my brother, sitting around the answering machine, wondering why I thought to bury my dad in the back yard after a car accident. I bet they were also preparing my "Employee Of The Month" award for enthusiastically declaring I would come in the day after my dad died AND that I took matters into my own hands and placed him in the garden. Seriously, that's the sort of self motivation that this company really got off on, and honestly, probably why they went under less than a year later, but that's another tale for a different blog.